Training Blog Number 2

Ooh! Ah! Ouch! - Now the commonest words in my vocabulary as I hobble to work in the mornings, or even try to get down the stairs. Even have to sit down to get dressed in the morning.

It's mostly the knees, I must admit, but almost anywhere is capable of acute pain. I even managed to pull some strange muscle or other just putting on the little back-pack that I now carry (sometimes) to simulate the donkey head I will be wearing.
I thought it was perfectly reasonable to use three or four bottles of wine as suitable weights in the pack, but I have been subject to much mockery.

And chemists - wow - I'm now a real expert. I remember as a boy seeing slightly seedy shops marked 'surgical appliances' and seeing dubious looking leather straps and pink plastic thingies in the windows - but now I head straight for that sign in Boots looking for 'elasticated bandages' and 'supports' - just for the knees, you understand.

And I'm sorry to be a bit sexist about this, but there seems to be any amount of strange pills and potions on sale for 'ladies of a certain age', in fact a whole aisle-full. "Menopause-R-Us" seems to be the theme. But what about us blokes? Why can't we have the 'oil of grotweed capsules or pond-bog weed oil to soothe the aches and pains? Must be a credit-crunch breaking opportunity in there for some enterprising allotment holder.

Meanwhile, I'll just have to stick to the wine. Probably tastes better anyway. Nothing like a nice Welsh claret.

Jeremy Hulme